my epiphany

I had an epiphany a couple of days ago. As I was pondering the affirmation, “I am successful,” I realized there was no truth in it for me. I couldn’t say it. I tried playing with it to see if I could tweak it, but there was nothing I could do with it to change it. So I started to ask myself some questions. The answers revealed something that had been lurking under the surface and running much of my thinking that I hadn’t recognized before. I asked what I believed was the definition of success. The only one that came to mind was the world’s definition. I realized I had taken it on as my own. I had been defining it as having lots of money and being well known. So I had decided I was not successful. But then I asked myself if that was true success. No way! But I still struggled to have a sense of where I am a success. So I began to write some things down.

I successfully left a very toxic relationship. I successfully taught many “little people.” I went back to school and successfully got 2 university degrees. I have successfully coached many women. I successfully have learned several healing modalities. I wrote down as many successes as I could come up with. Then I began to be able to wear success and feel it. The world’s definition of success began to sound hollow. I began to see myself in a different way. Challenging myself to dig a little deeper and to be honest in my answers revealed something that had been stopping me from a great deal. The word “success” almost seemed like a dirty word to me. I have no trouble seeing others as successful. But I couldn’t see it in myself.

The one question that created a HUGE shift in this for me was, “Is that true?” I kept asking it over and over again. The lies began to fall away. We all KNOW what is true. It’s there, but sometimes there are layers of dirt on top of it. There was fear on top of it. There were scars on top of it. There were other people’s words on top of it. But when I asked that question, the truth was able to rise to the surface quickly and easily. It’s a very powerful question!

I may not be successful in society’s eyes, but I am in my own now. That changes how I approach a lot of things, and it changes what is running underneath. I believe it prevented me from being as open as I could to a lot of the good the universe wanted to send me. Not any more!

Thanks for listening! Love you!

 

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